Category: Navigating Life

Invisible Friends Series: How to Give Constructive Criticism

“I actually don’t like the term constructive criticism,” he said shaking his head. “It sends the wrong message.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well criticism is pointing out what someone has done wrong. That’s never constructive. It’s one of those oxymorphisism thingies.”
“You mean oxymoron?”
“Yeah, like if I say that’s a giant shrimp, or it’s an open secret. Same thing with constructive criticism. The only thing criticism ever does is make people defensive, or depressed. It never builds anything constructive.”

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Invisible Friends Series: Dealing with Overwhelming Emotions

“Doesn’t talking to myself make me kinda crazy?”
“Nah,” came the answer. “Kids do it all the time, but adults learn to grow out of it because their culture demands it of them. Talking to yourself can actually be extraordinarily healthy. It allow you to give yourself some much needed Psychological Air.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, you can’t talk yourself out of feeling what you feel, just as you can’t talk someone else out of feeling what they feel. Instead, you need to dig into that emotion and uncover what the emotion is trying to tell you. You need to bring the emotion into the light and give it air. Talking to yourself can help you give it that air.”

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It’s funny how inspiration works

Lynn Marie Sager has a new book
Navigating Life Though Tubulent Tides
Book Description:
Fourteen years after her first book, a retired self-help expert is confronted by the principles she taght. When their demands to know why she has been ignoring them receive an unsatisfactory answer, the principles take over and insist on telling their own story, resulting in a unique, insightful, and humorous guide to getting the most out of our turbulent times. Read more to take a look inside the book.

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A Spoonfull of Empathy Helps the Medicine Go Down

I came home from work today and walked into a bit of a quagmire. My Dad caught me before I could even drop my bags and said with a face full of concern, “Your Mother and Tani had a huge fight. They aren’t talking, and your Mother keeps crying and saying that she just wants to die, so she can be with your brother.”

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The Four Agreements and Why I Take Them Personally

Recently, a friend introduced me to “The Four agreements.” Like so many, my she lives by then, and she was eager to share their wisdom with me. In case you are as unfamiliar with “The Four Agreements” as I was, they come from a book by Miguel Ruiz entitled, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book), which Oprah loves.

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What you say about others, says everything about you.

“Did you see the nasty look  that man just gave me?”
“He didn’t give it to you mommy.
You had it when you came in.”
Reflection has always been my favorite of the rules. It’s influence permiates all the rules, and incoprorating it into your understanding of the river is essential to successful journeying…

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Stop Driving Me Crazy: Reflections from the River

A new student, who is just starting down the river, sent me an e-mail that ended, “I hope you have a section in your lessons on how to not let (my co-worker) drive my crazy.” I know that she meant it as a joke, but strangely enough the rules of the river do deal with how to not let people drive you crazy…

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How to Handle Conflict Using Healthy Skepticism

What if I were to tell you,”The sun won’t come up tomorrow.”? You would probably dismiss me as either insane or ridiculous, at least that is what several people did when I said, “the sun won’t come up,” to them today. When I added, “The sun didn’t come up today,” they all emphatically said that it did come up. You are probably thinking the same…

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A Case Study that Defines Pet Peeves and Turns Them Into Positives

The Urban Dictionary defines Pet Peeve as “Something that maybe a bit annoying to most people but is very annoying or upsetting to a particular person. Related to the word peeve meaning an annoyance or grievance, a pet peeve is something that a person has adopted (like a pet) to be extra annoying or upsetting to them.” Pet Peeves become a problem whenever we allow our actions to be ruled by them, and unfortunately, I have a pet peeve. Luckily, I also have fourteen “river rules” to help me turn that peeve into a current worth exploring…

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A Daily Mantra For a Divided World

“There is always something I can learn,” will be my Daily Mantra for the foreseeable future. Mantras are simple phrases, or words, or sounds, that people use to help themselves stay focused on a particular state of mind. In my case, I need to focus on what unites us rather than divides us. As our upcoming election approaches, I find it easy to take a side, but everything I know about riding life’s river reminds me that it would be wiser if I did a little more listening and learning with an open mind to the people with whom I disagree…

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